This morning there was a car accident outside of my house.  The two cars hit so violently that the back of one car spun around and hit a car parked on the side of the road pushing it 15 ft up the road and onto the curb.  Surprisingly, no one was hurt (a testament to the wonders of seat belts and air bags – God bless the engineers). 

 

The woman who owned the parked car came out about 20 minutes after the accident to find that her car was probably totaled.  She threw her hands up in the air and announced that this was just one more thing that had gone wrong with her life that week, starting with losing her job and her unemployment check being delayed.  She had that desperate look of someone life has just hit too hard. 

 

I thought about it though.  She’s lost her job.  Her unemployment check is delayed.  Her car gets totaled.  I see the final one as a gift.  You see, we live within walking distance of a subway stop and two blocks from the bus route.  She has easy access to alternate transportation.  With this one fell swoop she has been freed up from the need to pay for car insurance and gas.  It was an older model car, so it’s likely owned it outright.  She’ll get the settlement check within a week – which is probably faster than her unemployment insurance could show up.  It’s not one more thing that went wrong, it’s the universe finding a way to smooth the way for her. 

 

But that’s my perspective.  And you could say that my perspective is skewed given the fact that they missed my car by inches and it wasn’t my car that was totaled.  But I will tell you that when I was going on my walkabout a few years ago someone broke into my car and stole my laptop computer.  Thankfully, I had just backed it up, so I didn’t lose much data.  And it was an old computer that had been given to me by a friend who had upgraded.  It was worth about $50.  But my insurance covers replacement value, so they gave me $1700 for the computer.  I used the money to pay off my car loan and to fund my trip.  It was truly a gift from the universe.  And in the moment it happened, I knew that it was a gift.  I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I did. 

 

The key was for me not to be attached to how things were.  If I had replaced the laptop simply because I was used to having one, I would have been much worse off.  But because I was willing to let go of having it, other avenues were available to me.  If the woman across the street from me is open enough to accept not having a car for a while, she’ll have some money to tide her over until her unemployment check arrives.  If she is attached to getting back to her comfort zone, then she’ll probably have more expenses to deal with since replacing a car is almost always more expensive than the settlement money they provide. 

 

Where are you attached?  What is your comfort zone?  Are things breaking down around you?  Before you work too hard to replace what gets broken, think about whether you really need it.  Perhaps you could simplify your life instead.  For everything new you want to bring you’re your life, you will likely have to let go of something else to make room for it.  Sometimes that’s an easy sacrifice, other times it’s more difficult – but we usually have a choice.

 

Remember, everything around us happens because it happens.  It is a function of the energy we put out.  Our perspectives are what make things seem “goodâ€? and “badâ€?.  What perspective do you choose today?

Tomorrow I'll begin the Millionaire Mind Seminar based on the book The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. I'm going for several reasons. First, I love to learn. I love to soak up new ideas and see how those ideas affect my existing concept of the world. Second, I loved the book. It had a lot of really good points in it and I learned a lot from it, so I can only assume that three days of intense training (8am-11pm) will be edifying as well. And third - who doesn't want to improve their relationship with money? There's always room for improvement, right?

Besides, the wonderful thing about going to events like this is that it will re-invigorate me. Learning new things always gets me hyped up to create new products for you and teach you more stuff. There's nothing like wrapping your brain around something new to give fresh life to what you already know.

So - fair warning - I'll be in creative mode in the coming months. New products, classes and concepts will be coming forth. Watch for them. And while you're at it, go out and learn something new for yourself too. (I just love to share the wealth.) And pick up a copy of The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind while you're at it.

Boston Area:  Kathy Scheiern, PhD is considering coming to town to offer her Constellation Therapy Workshop on December 9th.  I've attended the other two events she's done in this area and they were amazing.  I highly recommend attending.  It's great for working on your family and personal issues.  I've even seen people deal with work-related issues in this context.  I don't endorse a lot of people, especially not for personal development related workshops, but this woman is da bomb!

If you are interested in attending, let me know ASAP.  We'd have to find a location in or around the Boston area (I have a few leads I could explore if people were interested).  It's a full day program for $99.00 per person, maximum of 12-15 people depending on the room size. 

If we can tell her that we have enough people, she'll book the flight from Cincinatti.  Otherwise, we'll be out of luck until March when she can make it again.  Call me ASAP if you're interested.  Or make a comment to this post with your contact info.

Some of you may know that I am a practicing shaman.  What does this mean?  I look for the patterns in the world.  I follow the cycle of the year as a way to make sure I look at all aspects of my life.  I appreciate nature and all she has to offer.  There's more to it than that, but that's a good overview of it.

As part of my everyday practice, I take some time to notice the patterns in my life.  Recently, everyone around me has been doing a great deal of personal growth work.  This is not terribly surprising to me since I have been doing a great deal of that as well.  I'm only about halfway through the process that I started in January to open up and be more available emotionally and authentically to the people around me.  It has been a scary thing to do.  I've been convinced that people wouldn't like me if I told them the whole truth about who I am, and yet that has not been the case.  The more I share with people, the more they share with me and the more loved and appreciated I have felt.  And yet the process has been a hard one. 

Anytime you deal with core, foundational issues, it tends to throw you off balance and make you re-evaluate your life.  As part of this evaluation, I decided to move.  This has been a stressful process and one that is not yet complete.  Like most of the changes I'm working on making, it is taking longer than I had hoped. (I guess I shouldn't be surprised with 6 groundhogs/woodchucks living in my back yard - they are signs that things will take longer than expected). 

Recently, the woman who was running my women's group last month decided that we had all done a lot of work already and, despite the fact that we weren't done yet, she thought it was time to appreciate ourselves and each other for what had been accomplished already.  We all thought that this was a great idea.  So she decorated a high-backed chair with beautiful fabrics and put a pillow on the floor at our feet - making us royalty for the moment.  We each took a turn in the chair.  In that chair we received praise and appreciation from the other members of the group and from ourselves.  There were things that were said to me that I never realized people appreicated about me - things that I thought were often challenges in my life.  And I got to see from other people's eyes how much I had accomplished.  I also got to find more love in my heart for all of the women in the group because I went looking for things to appreciate about them.

So here's your thought for the day.  How much have you accomplished in the last month?  I bet it's a lot.  Before you go to bed tonight, look in the mirror and say out loud all of the things you've accomplished (don't forget that taking much-needed time off is accomplishing the goal of being loving towards yourself).  Tell the person in the mirror what you appreciate about them - what aspects of their personality most impress you.   And then, in the morning when you're feeling well rested and emotionally fed, start practicing this with your friends and family members.  Remind your spouse why you love them.  Tell your kids all the things they do right every day.  Tell your friends what you appreciate about them.  Tell your parents how grateful you are for the life they gave you. 

Opening our hearts is a scary and challenging process.  It takes practice.  But it is one of the best things we can do in care of ourselves.Share your heart with someone today, as I have shared mine with you.  Thanks for reading.  I appreciate all the support you all give me.

I got this post from Joeann Fossland's Blog - I liked the article so much, I just had to repost it here.  If you'd like to visit Joeann's Blog, you can find her at http://joeann.realtownblogs.com/ 

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The World's Most Unusual Therapist

by Dr. Joe Vitale
www.mrfire.com

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

"After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely," he told me. "Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed."

I was in awe.

"Not only that," he went on, "but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed."

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?"

"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he said.

I didn't understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy--anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone--even a mentally ill criminal--you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again," he explained.

That's it?

That's it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, your improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm sorry" and "I love you," I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

"What about the books that are already sold and out there?" I asked.

"They aren't out there," he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. "They are still in you."

In short, there is no out there.

It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.

"When you look, do it with love."

This article is from the forthcoming book "Zero Limits" by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Len

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Dr. Joe Vitale is the author of way too many books to list here. His latest title is "The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy Steps for Creating Wealth (or anything else) From the Inside Out." Register for his monthly complimentary ezine at http://www.mrfire.com/

His Executive Mentoring Program is described at
http://www.joe-vitale-executive-mentoring.com/info.html
 
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Copyright © 2005 by Joe Vitale. All rights reserved.
You may forward this in its entirety to anyone you wish.

Hypnotic Marketing Inc.
121 Canyon Gap Rd
Wimberley TX 78676

In the past, we have often thought of work and home as being two completely different environments.  We are one person at work and another at home - effectively creating a split personality for ourselves.  Because we treat our lives this way, we don't know how to "be" when we are out relaxing and a business opportunity arises.  Do we stay in relax mode and put off the business for another time?  Or do we turn on the businessperson?  And, if we do turn on the business person, and we do a lot of networking events, then when do we ever get to be just ourselves?

These are the thoughts that have been running through my head of late.  I have been looking at how I can bring me more clearly into my business.  how I can leave behind the "business person" personality and just show up as myself.  Is it possible that I could find a group of clients who would truly appreciate me for who I am - all of me?

I believe that there is.  And in an effort to bring myself more clearly into focus for you, my readers, I have added a page to my website that gives a little more information about me.  I call it my "Random Bits of Kelle Trivia for the Terminally Curious" page.  In it, I share lots of things about myself, from my love of music and singing, to the fun and exciting things I have done in my life.  All in an effort to tell you more about who you are choosing to do business with.

As part of this journey for me (being the teacher that I am), I have also created a new program called "Grow Yourself to Grow Your Business".  This program is a group learning and coaching program.  I'm also expanding my business to work with all types of small business owners, not just real estate agents.  I'm excited about this new process.  I think I've finally found the piece that I have been missing in getting into relationship with all of you.  I'd love to share the concept with you. 

I'm going to be looking for ways to do just that.  I may offer an MP3 files of a coaching class.  I may do a free teleseminar introduction.  I may do something else.  Who knows?  I'm in process on it.  I'll let you know when I figure it out. 

In the meantime, think about this.  What can YOU do in your business to bring your personality more clearly into what you do?  How can you draw people to you who will truly like you and appreciate what you have to offer?  Are you willing to be really seen by your clients for who you are?  How would your life be different if you could just show up as you - all the time?  Think about it.  And then tell me your thoughts.  I'd love to hear them.

I've heard back from a reader and I wanted to clarify my comments in the "Fake It Until You Make It" article in the last newsletter. 

The goal here is not to lie to people, the goal is to program your brain to look at the positives.  There has to be something going well in your business.  Perhaps you learned something new.  Perhaps you met someone really cool.  Maybe business has been so slow that you finally got your desk organized.  The goal is to look at the good things in your business and share those with the people who ask you about your business. 

This accomplishes two tasks at once.  First:  it lets the person you are talking to know that you are a positive person and you have a good attitude.  And second (and more importantly) is that it programs your subconscious mind to look at the positives.  Because what we focus on is what we create, we want to speak what we want, not what we don't have. 

So the next time someone asks you how business is (and maybe you're a little slow and want more business), don't say, "Well business has been slow. I could really use some people to work with, do you know anyone looking?"  Instead, say something like: "You know I love this business!  Sometimes it's crazy where you run like mad and you're busy all the time, and other times it slows down some and you get a chance to breathe and catch up.  I've finally gotten my desk cleared off from the last blast of business and now I'm ready to get back out and start running again.  Who do you know who's looking to buy or sell?  I'd love to help them!"

I know you can see the difference in the energy between those two comments.  And the person you are talking to will see it too.

Now get out there and sell something!

 Here's the Original Article----------------------

Fake It Until You Make It I know we've all heard that phrase before, but it's true. You have to believe you are successful before the outside world will believe it. You have to put the energy out into the world.

When someone asks you how business is going, answer "Fabulous! Awesome! Tremendous!" even if it's not. Especially if it's not. What we focus on is what we create. If you don't have any leads, then the worst thing you can do is to focus on that. Instead, focus on getting more. If you want to ask for help (and I encourage you to ask), then say "Business is awesome, but there's always room for more! Who do you know who's looking to buy or sell?" It's important not to put forth an image that you don't want to be true - to others or to yourself.

Consider your self-talk for a moment. How do you talk to yourself? Are you kind and considerate? Do you give yourself credit for big wins? Do you encourage yourself and tell yourself how much you believe in you? No?

The fact is that most of us treat ourselves terribly. We focus only on what we did wrong, what we haven't accomplished, and how bad we are as people. Honestly, if someone else in our lives treated us as badly as we treated ourselves, we'd never speak to them again.

When you catch yourself saying something bad - in your head or out loud - cancel it and immediately replace it with a positive thought or comment. So it would go something like this.

"I don't know what I'm going to do - the rent is due next week and I've got nothing on the horizon. I'm such a loser!" The minute you catch yourself going down this road simply say "Cancel that - I take that back. I'm most certainly not a loser. In fact, I'm a winner. Look at all the things I've done well in the last few months. Look at all of the things I've won at." And list all of your accomplishments.

It's important not to beat yourself up for being negative. That only perpetuates the cycle. Acknowledge that you did it, change it, and then give yourself credit for making progress in changing a very ingrained habit.

Want some help in the fake it until you make it category? Ask a friend whom you trust to participate with you. My friend Robyn is my cheerleader. She and I have shared our goals with one another and we constantly speak those goals to the other person as though they had already happened. It feels amazing to have someone else tell you how successful you are. Try it sometime.

I realized recently that with all the challenges surrounding the launch of the new website and the porting of the servers, I had been starting my day in stress. Even before I would get out of bed, I would be anticipating the hassles that would accompany my day. And, sure enough, what I focused on, I created. Things have been difficult to say the least.

But then a gift arrived for me on TiVo. Public TV was doing a fund raiser with a program from Wayne Dyer about Inspiration. So I have spent the last couple of mornings beginning my day with Wayne, consciously working on shifting my perspective on things. Here's what has happened.

I got an email back from a national trainer for the sales industry at large asking me how he could help me to grow my business. (So far, I'm not sure what to ask him for, but I know it will come - perhaps one of you have an idea.)

After going through three different bookkeepers in two years, I took back the job. In the process of setting up my Quicken files, I have discovered that most of my accounts have downloads available which will make the job I had been paying roughly $300/mo. for cost me only about 20 minutes a month.

I got a call back from a prospect I had approached about hosting some training events, with his request to set up a meeting to discuss it. (I placed the initial call two weeks ago.)

And this is from only a couple of days of consciously shifting my attitude first thing in the morning. Have my troubles with the website concluded? Not yet - but I intend that today will be the day when the remainder of the issues are resolved. But in the meantime, I've been happier all around because the other things have served to smooth out my days.

So - here's the big question. How do you start your day? Are you mired in stress, worry and negativity? Or are you focusing on that which you intend to create? How can you change your attitude for the better today? Try it. For the next few days, set your intentions for the day before you begin it. Then see how the world unfolds around you.