Fake It Until You Make It - Part II

I've heard back from a reader and I wanted to clarify my comments in the "Fake It Until You Make It" article in the last newsletter. 

The goal here is not to lie to people, the goal is to program your brain to look at the positives.  There has to be something going well in your business.  Perhaps you learned something new.  Perhaps you met someone really cool.  Maybe business has been so slow that you finally got your desk organized.  The goal is to look at the good things in your business and share those with the people who ask you about your business. 

This accomplishes two tasks at once.  First:  it lets the person you are talking to know that you are a positive person and you have a good attitude.  And second (and more importantly) is that it programs your subconscious mind to look at the positives.  Because what we focus on is what we create, we want to speak what we want, not what we don't have. 

So the next time someone asks you how business is (and maybe you're a little slow and want more business), don't say, "Well business has been slow. I could really use some people to work with, do you know anyone looking?"  Instead, say something like: "You know I love this business!  Sometimes it's crazy where you run like mad and you're busy all the time, and other times it slows down some and you get a chance to breathe and catch up.  I've finally gotten my desk cleared off from the last blast of business and now I'm ready to get back out and start running again.  Who do you know who's looking to buy or sell?  I'd love to help them!"

I know you can see the difference in the energy between those two comments.  And the person you are talking to will see it too.

Now get out there and sell something!

 Here's the Original Article----------------------

Fake It Until You Make It I know we've all heard that phrase before, but it's true. You have to believe you are successful before the outside world will believe it. You have to put the energy out into the world.

When someone asks you how business is going, answer "Fabulous! Awesome! Tremendous!" even if it's not. Especially if it's not. What we focus on is what we create. If you don't have any leads, then the worst thing you can do is to focus on that. Instead, focus on getting more. If you want to ask for help (and I encourage you to ask), then say "Business is awesome, but there's always room for more! Who do you know who's looking to buy or sell?" It's important not to put forth an image that you don't want to be true - to others or to yourself.

Consider your self-talk for a moment. How do you talk to yourself? Are you kind and considerate? Do you give yourself credit for big wins? Do you encourage yourself and tell yourself how much you believe in you? No?

The fact is that most of us treat ourselves terribly. We focus only on what we did wrong, what we haven't accomplished, and how bad we are as people. Honestly, if someone else in our lives treated us as badly as we treated ourselves, we'd never speak to them again.

When you catch yourself saying something bad - in your head or out loud - cancel it and immediately replace it with a positive thought or comment. So it would go something like this.

"I don't know what I'm going to do - the rent is due next week and I've got nothing on the horizon. I'm such a loser!" The minute you catch yourself going down this road simply say "Cancel that - I take that back. I'm most certainly not a loser. In fact, I'm a winner. Look at all the things I've done well in the last few months. Look at all of the things I've won at." And list all of your accomplishments.

It's important not to beat yourself up for being negative. That only perpetuates the cycle. Acknowledge that you did it, change it, and then give yourself credit for making progress in changing a very ingrained habit.

Want some help in the fake it until you make it category? Ask a friend whom you trust to participate with you. My friend Robyn is my cheerleader. She and I have shared our goals with one another and we constantly speak those goals to the other person as though they had already happened. It feels amazing to have someone else tell you how successful you are. Try it sometime.