I bet you never thought you'd hear a trainer say that! We're the ones who are always saying to practice your skills by role playing, right? Well, it's true, I think that kind of role playing is still good. It's the other ways in which you play your roles that are not serving you.

Handling Prospect Calls A classic example of where playing your role doesn't work is in handling buyer ad calls. Let's look at this from a generalized view for a moment.

The Buyer's Assumed Role: The buyer is calling in. His goal is to get the address, price, and features of the property he is calling on. He also has the goal of not engaging you in more conversation than absolutely necessary and he certainly doesn't want to give you his name and/or contact information. He wants to get the information and get off the phone so that he can make the next call or go and drive by the property.

The Agent's Assumed Role: You've been told that your primary goal is to get name, contact information, and preferably an appointment to meet with the buyer on the other end of the phone. Depending on your office policy, you may even have the limitation of not being allowed to give out the address. Even if you can tell him the address, you know that the minute you give out this information, the buyer is off the phone in moment and you have lost your opportunity to convert the call.

The Impasse So here we sit at an impasse. No one wants to give out information and therefore we begin our tug-of-war game with no possibility for a win-win scenario.

Now if you're really good and you're one of his first calls ever, you may be able to engage the buyer in conversation; and that conversation might result in him coming in for an appointment. But wouldn't you like something that is a little more guaranteed to work than that?

Get Out Of Your Role There is no way for both sides to win as long as you remain in your role. The buyer is not going to jump out of his role because he doesn't know that he needs you. He thinks he needs the address. It is up to you to change your role so that, rather than staring at each other across a brick wall of stubborn refusal to share information, you can instead stand on the same side of that wall and push through it together to reach a mutual goal.

This all sounds great, I'm sure, but you're probably wondering how you are supposed to accomplish this task. It's simple really. Find a way to jump out of your role. Usually the buyer will give you something you can work with. My favorite example is the buyer who is obviously on his 8th or 10th call of the day and is irritated that it is taking him so long to get the information he wants. You can hear the edge in his voice, the brusqueness in his tone, and feel his impatience as he waits for yet another fight for the information he wants. This is the point of golden opportunity. This is the time when you should jump out of your role. Instead, jump into a role I affectionately call "Captain Obvious".

Being Captain Obvious When playing this role, your job is to state the obvious. It's simple really, and yet profound in the way it works. The buyer is irritated. He's frustrated. He's upset. You're in his way. You know this. He knows this. It is not news to anyone. So speak it out loud. I respond something like this: "Wow, you've talked to a lot of annoying agents today, haven't you?" Now, instead of being another of the "annoying agents" in his head, you're a friend commiserating with him about what he's been through. Even if he was irritated for a totally different reason, you've jarred him out of his goal-oriented mindset and put him in a position of explaining to you why he's frustrated. In explaining this, he lets you in a little and you have the opportunity to sympathize with his situation.

Bonding Now you're in a position to bond with the buyer. Talk with him about what kind of a day he's been having. Find out who he's talked to. Ask him what his goals for the day are and how he's been approaching his search. Talk to him about his timeline, whether he's qualified for a mortgage, why he's moving and anything else that may come to mind. As long as he's feeling chatty, you chat with him. Just before you feel him shifting back into information acquisition mode, you do it first by saying something like "Ah, but you wanted some information from me. What can I help you with?"

He will give you the property that he wants the address on. Give it to him. He's already invested in the conversation, he's not going to hang up - now it would be rude to do so. He knows you. Then tell him that you've got access to the MLS and you can find out the address for the other properties that he has listed. That way he won't have to talk to anymore agents.

He'll be thrilled with this concept. While you're pulling the information about the houses (both your own and the others), try to find at least one house that doesn't meet his stated needs for a home. Point that out to him and tell him why it won't work. He now knows you were listening.

Solve His Problem Permanently Tell him that you could solve his problem permanently by setting him up in your system. He would automatically get all the houses in his towns, in his price range that met his criteria emailed to him each day. No more waiting for the paper to come out. No more searching the internet and culling through dozens of houses that just won't work. Now he can get only what he wants - along with the address - delivered straight to him!

Check In Does that sound like something he would like? Who wouldn't like that? Especially if he's serious about buying. He's probably buried up to his eyeballs in properties he's hoping with work for him. He'd love for someone else to weed those out for him and save him time. These days, time is one of our most precious commodities.

Set The Appointment Tell him you'll need him to come into the office to set the system up. You'll need to have a more in-depth conversation about what he needs in a home so that you can set the parameters for the search. You'll also want to talk to him about buyer agency because he needs to have his decision made about whether he wants a buyer's agent before he finds the house - since if he waits until afterwards his options may be severely limited based on how he found the home. (If he sees it with the listing agent, the best he can do is dual agency since the listing agent is now procuring cause for the house.) And besides, you're sure he has a lot of questions about the buying process, and this would be the perfect time for you to answer those questions for him.

Now, the buyer is not only interested in coming in to see you - he's excited about it! And NOW is when you ask for his name and contact information. NOT BEFORE. If you ask for this information before you've gotten the appointment, then you're setting yourself back into the salesperson role. After all, why would you need it unless you were planning to call and bother him as a salesperson? Now that you've got the appointment, you need the information. In case you need to cancel the appointment, or in case an amazing deal hits the market before you meet. Whatever - you have a relationship and therefore are entitled to the contact info.

Building The Relationship Remember, the goal of this conversation is initially to break out of your role. Then to develop rapport. Then to begin a relationship with the buyer. Then and only then should it be your goal to get the appointment. Each step builds upon the last. Don't try to skip one or the whole house of cards could come raining down on your head.

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I recently got this article published in Principal Broker Online. To see it and other good articles, visit them at:

http://www.principalbrokeronline.com/articles_new.asp?art_id=236§ion_id=3

I got a note from Jack Canfield with a link to a movie called "The Secret" yesterday. I watched the movie last night and I just have to pass along the information to you. Here's the link to the website where you can get streaming video of the movie direct to your computer.

http://www.thesecret.tv/

Set aside some time when you will be uninterrupted. You'll also want to give yourself an hour or two after the movie to process what you've seen. I suggest having a friend watch it with you. It's so much better to be able to "what if" and "what did it mean by..." with another person.

This morning, my friend and I made gratitude pictures. We did artwork that depicted gratitude and then we went out and bought frames and put them up in the house. So now, wherever I look in my house, I see something that reminds me to be grateful. It was a fun project and it has long lasting benefits.

Come visit with us today as we interview Nathan Isaac Arbouet, and agent with ERA Key Realty Services. He has been in the business for just over three years and is focused on providing superior customer service to his clients.

I found this out on the web today. It's a great list. I suggest you check it out.

7 ways to make the most of your days

I got an email from Diana recently and it seems she's a bit swamped trying to clear things up before her vacation, so we have postponed the interview until late April. Once we have a date set, I'll let you know.

Consider what you are using to program your mind each day. What words, phrases, thoughts, and images assault your brain on a regular basis? The more things around you that you can make supportive of your goals, the better able you are to make yourself believe that these things could actually happen.

For example - what do you use as your password for your online accounts? Are these passwords helpful to your goals? We type our passwords every day, multiple times each day. It is a small thing, but it is a repetitive one. Consider changing your passwords (it's probably time anyway) to something that's in line with your goals.

It's getting to be Springtime and this means that it's time to come out of hibernation. All the systems and processes that we let slip over the slower Winter months, now need to be put back in place.

This means that it's time to start prospecting in earnest again. That means a couple of hours a day. This doesn't have to be cold calling (in fact I hope it isn't - I can't STAND cold calling). It could be going to networking events. It could be working out strategic alliances where you get other people to help you get the word out about your services. It could be calling past clients to check in. It could be sending out mailers. It could be doing open houses. It could be many things. But two hours each day should be spent on things that will bring more money into your business.

I'm working on my strategic alliances. Over the next few days, I'll be in contact with all the vendors I can find in the industry to tell them about our Real Estate Story of the Week Podcast. If I can get them to tell their clients about it, I can expand my list of people who know about my business and the website. If you were to decide to help me out today, you could tell a few people about it as well. (And I would really appreciate that.) Here's the link to tell them all about it. http://www.spartasuccess.com/Real_Estate/REStoryOfTheWeek.asp

How can you leverage the people who already know you, love you, and trust you? They want to help you! Give them an easy way to do it (just like I did for you above)!

That's it. This week is all about prospecting! Get out there and do some!

I'm still not completely sure how this whole blog thing works (I've got my training wheels on). Do you see the podcast if you've only signed up for the blog? If not - then check it out! The first story is up! Time for the rest of you to belly up to the bar and tell us your tales too!

Georgi May is a 7-year veteran agent. She works for ERA Morrison in Lowell, MA. Find Georgi on the web at www.georgimay.com.

After last week I find myself this week looking gift horses in the mouth. I think I've gotten so used to things breaking down that I'm a little unwilling to let them break through. It's been a tough month.

I don't know what your week was like, but if it was anything like mine, go forward with caution. Both caution in what you look at putting into place and caution in making sure you don't miss something because you're still curled in the fetal position praying for it to all be over.

That's all for now.... I'll have a few announcements coming up soon!

Introduction to The Real Estate Story of the Week.

It seems that everyone is having major breakdown these days. My breakdowns are manifesting as website woes. Others are going through physical breakdown (roofs leaking, sewers backing up), emotional breakdowns, relationship breakdowns, mental exhaustion, getting sick, etc. Wherever I look, things are falling apart.

If you read my book, you know that I believe that it's breakdown before breakthrough. Which for me means that I am anticipating a great breakthrough soon. With the scale at which things are changing, we are all a little on edge.

My best advice (to myself and to you) is to relax and let go. I don't know about you, but I've been holding on really tighly for the last few days. The resulting stress has taken its toll on me. I'm exhausted. So today I decided to adopt a new attitude . Today I will just accept what happens. It's going to be what it's going to be and I'm going to roll with it. I have done everything I can to control things and it's been proven that this approach is fruitless. So today I'm just going to deal.

If things break down, I'll fix them - but I won't get upset about it. I've accepted that we're in breakdown mode. No point in being upset about it.

I'm not planning any big stuff for the next week or so. If nothing productive gets done, that's OK. I'll make progress as I can where I can and be OK with the rest of it.

My goal for this week is to relax. What's yours?

I realized recently that with all the challenges surrounding the launch of the new website and the porting of the servers, I had been starting my day in stress. Even before I would get out of bed, I would be anticipating the hassles that would accompany my day. And, sure enough, what I focused on, I created. Things have been difficult to say the least.

But then a gift arrived for me on TiVo. Public TV was doing a fund raiser with a program from Wayne Dyer about Inspiration. So I have spent the last couple of mornings beginning my day with Wayne, consciously working on shifting my perspective on things. Here's what has happened.

I got an email back from a national trainer for the sales industry at large asking me how he could help me to grow my business. (So far, I'm not sure what to ask him for, but I know it will come - perhaps one of you have an idea.)

After going through three different bookkeepers in two years, I took back the job. In the process of setting up my Quicken files, I have discovered that most of my accounts have downloads available which will make the job I had been paying roughly $300/mo. for cost me only about 20 minutes a month.

I got a call back from a prospect I had approached about hosting some training events, with his request to set up a meeting to discuss it. (I placed the initial call two weeks ago.)

And this is from only a couple of days of consciously shifting my attitude first thing in the morning. Have my troubles with the website concluded? Not yet - but I intend that today will be the day when the remainder of the issues are resolved. But in the meantime, I've been happier all around because the other things have served to smooth out my days.

So - here's the big question. How do you start your day? Are you mired in stress, worry and negativity? Or are you focusing on that which you intend to create? How can you change your attitude for the better today? Try it. For the next few days, set your intentions for the day before you begin it. Then see how the world unfolds around you.

This month begins the blog and podcast portion of our program. I'll be signing on periodically (well, probably a lot - I'm like that) and chatting with you about real estate, life, and running our businesses.

I'm in the process of tracking down agents who have good stories for me to record for the podcast. I've also talked Diana Digirolamo (GMAC's National Rookie of the Year for 2005) into doing an interview with me sometime later this month. We haven't set the exact date yet, but I am assured it will be soon. I'm also trying to corner Adam Bellusci who was part of the winning team for the National Attorney Negotiation Contest. He has tentatively agreed to do an interview with me as well. I'll let you know how things progress.

It's coming up on the two year anniversary for Sparta Success Systems, and I've been doing a little soul-searching about what I want this company to look like. I really want to be able to reach a national audience, but much like the work that I teach, I want to be more personal. This blog is one of my ways of getting more personal with you, my subscribers and clients. I will be letting you in behind the scenes into the workings of my brain (scary, I know). I'm hoping that you will share your thoughts as well, so we can get to know each other.

Over the next year, I'm going to roll out a bunch more functionality on the website. I won't tell you what everything is (since I haven't finished my research yet), but it will all be designed to create a sense of community amongst the agents who I think "get it" in terms of living life and running our businesses in a more authentic and significant manner. In other words - I want to help you guys get in touch with each other and create your own caring community. And I want to be part of that community for my own selfish reasons (basically because you guys rock and I love you).

So, I think that's about it. I could go on and on (one of the reasons I write books), but this is a blog, so I'll sign off here. I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow. ;-)